Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
