Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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