i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
