Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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