Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
operation have a gay friend backfired
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
