thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
