I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
