the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
