Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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