Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
3 2 1 whiskey
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
