You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
