Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
