Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
