But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
