I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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