Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
