Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
