ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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