Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
