Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
These tits shall not be calmed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
