Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
