You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
