Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just pee around me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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