There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
