Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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