just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
