I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it hurts more in the daytime
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
