yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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