I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
