all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
