I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
