My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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