Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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