I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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