your parents love me but you hate me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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