I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
