when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
