this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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