I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
