before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
