Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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