I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
