I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
