All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
