"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
