the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
