how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
