I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
