Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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