he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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