it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
